So, while April was gone to get the Cytotec I coughed and felt Sydney move. All of a sudden, I didn't hear the thumpity thump of her heartbeat on the monitor. I figured she had just "ran away" from the monitor like she always had. Wrong. Oh, I was so wrong. April comes back in to try and track this active little booger down and finds her heartrate at the top of my tummy. She decided to double check SJ's position by trying to feel her head. I was only 1cm dilated at this point. I tell you what, I thought she was going to pull my teeth out from my va-jay-jay. It wasn't super painful but it was hard to breathe, for sure. She said she didn't know what she was feeling but she was sure it wasn't a noggin. Great. April calls the ultrasound tech in to see where my child had migrated too. It was confirmed that Miss Priss had flipped back to breech. Awesome (not). Dr. Lawhon was on call that night so he came in to talk to me while April got in touch with Dr. Logan. While I'm spazzing out, Quez and Dr. Lawhon are talking Navy mumbo jumbo. Apparently Dr. Lawhon served in the Navy for 8 years. Small world. They check my blood pressure right before Dr. Logan comes for my cesarean and it's 163/103. I was FREAKING OUT about a C-section. They hook me up to a bag of antibiotics and fluids since I was Strep B positive. Dr. Logan shows up and gives me a big hug and tells me that Sydney has been a stinker since day one and that this has only happened to her twice in her whole OB career (the head down to breech during induction fiasco). While they're prepping me, my other nurse Jessica is doing her best to try and make me feel better and calm down. Bless her heart. She was telling me that most of the nurses said they'd prefer a cesarean over vaginal delivery because it's an in and out thing. Jessica also told me a story about a lady who had delivered 3 days before. This lady went all natural and tore all the way from her biscuit to her butthole. They basically had to sew this woman a new butthole. OUCH! I'll take that cesarean over that any day! So, they shaved what little bit of hair I had on my lower belly off, washed me down with some kind of surgical antiseptic soap, and put on my compression leg things. I loved those. Such a nice massage. Dr. Logan and Dr. Lawhon both walk me back to the O.R. That's when things went fast and some details are a little hazy. I've never been so drugged in my life. LOL! The nurse anesthetist and her husband, the anesthesiologist, were so incredibly sweet to me. You see, I've never had any kind of surgery in my entire life besides getting my wisdom teeth cut out. Does that even count? I don't think it does. They both explained what would be happening to me. I was apprehensive about not being able to hold Quez's hand during the spinal but I trusted them. Dr. Logan held me while the nurse anesthetist rubbed my spine (REALLY hard) to find that space she was aiming for. They shot me a few times with lidocaine and then I had the big poke. She hit a nerve on my left side and my leg jumped. It scared me so I began to cry. Then it happened again. That time I did that silent cry. You know the ones where babies cry so hard they make no sound until you blow in their face or they catch their breath? Yep, that was me. Dr. Logan wiped my tears and put her forehead to my forehead. She said, "It's been a terrible week for you, I know it has. You deserve to cry, Hannah. Let it out. You're almost done. You're almost done." I love her so much. The spinal was in! YAY! They made me lay back really quickly so that the numbness could spread. They cathed me (which I was scared of and there was nothing to it) and hung up the blue curtain so that I couldn't see my innards. Dr. Logan said "Can you feel me pinching you?" I couldn't feel a thing. Cesarean began. They let Quez in then. I guess that me being drugged makes me super chatty because I was asking all kinds of questions. My head began to hurt so I asked if that was normal. I got shot up with something for that. I asked if I was supposed to feel nauseous and I got shot up with something for that. I didn't know my rear end from my kneecap at that point. Dr. Lawhon says, "Your baby's almost here, Hannah!". At 8:09pm, Sydney Jean entered the world and melted her parents' hearts.
The most perfect 6 pounds 1 ounce and 18 inch long baby in the world even if she looked like she had been doused with mozzarella cheese. Since she was 2 weeks and 4 days early, she was covered in vernix. They let Quez bring her over to me before they whisked her off to the NICU because of her rapid breathing. I made Quez go with Sydney. Both Dr. Logan and Dr. Lawhon assured me that SJ would be just fine and that she was in good hands. I needed to talk to help cope with the fact that my daughter was in the NICU. We talked about what Dr. Logan had for dinner, why she chose to only have one kiddo, and what I was going to eat when I got to recovery haha! For some strange reason, I asked "What are you going to do with my placenta?". Dr. Logan said, "Well, you didn't have any major problems so it won't be going to pathology. We just send it to be incinerated. Why? Do you want it?" I said, "Heck no! I'm not one of those hippies who grinds it up into a smoothie or dries it out like jerky and encapsulates it!". Everyone in that OR was laughing at me. I'm a hoot, what can I say. I get all stitched up and I thank my AWESOME doctors. They somehow lugged my lard tail onto the bed headed to recovery. Some of the pain meds were making me convulse. I literally felt like I was seizing. Also, the morphine made me itch like the dickens. I don't remember much about the hour I was in recovery. They finally move me to my post partum room. I had another really awesome nurse named Tina. She brought me food. ;) She gave me Toradol. It took about 2 minutes for me to puke that up. I forgot to tell her that pain meds make me vomit. She gave me Phenergan and that knocked me off my socks. Quez and I were finally about to pass out around 11pm. The neonatologist came in around 2am to update us on Sydney's condition in the NICU. They weren't going to move her to well baby nursery for at least 24 hours because of her breathing. That was discouraging but the Dr. said she looked great and was absolutely beautiful. She said the NICU nurses were having a ball with all of her hair. :) Around 6am, Tina came in and took off my compression leg things, took out the cath, and helped me up out of bed. I didn't realize just how much I used my tummy muscles to do anything. O U C H! Walking felt very strange too. I wasn't numb but it still felt.....weird. I don't know how else to describe it. We called the NICU to see if we were allowed to come see Sydney. I had only seen her for 5 minutes and I was so drugged then that it felt like a dream. It was shift change so we had to wait. I walked to the end of the hallway and had to get Quez to wheel me the rest of the way to the NICU. I'm telling you, that first day after my cesarean was kind of brutal. I was finally able to see and hold my precious girl.
I wasn't able to spend much time in the NICU with her. The Toradol and Phenergan had me falling asleep sitting up. By Friday, the neonatologist felt like Sydney could go home with me on Saturday so he said she could spend all day in the room with me and room in that night. I was SO happy! By this time, I was off Toradol and Phenergan so I wasn't higher than Snoop Dogg.
Saturday morning came and we were due to be released. Our super sweet favorite NICU nurse, Stacey, came and got Sydney around 6am to give her a bath, feed her, and take out that stinking IV. Around 10am, they let me go and gave me my baby. We were free! :)
Life as a mother has been nothing short of amazing. I was not prepared for how much I love her. I loved her from the moment that I knew I was pregnant but seeing her, holding her, touching her, kissing her made me love her to my very soul. I cried and cried and cried from Thursday afternoon until Saturday morning. I just could not believe that Quez and I made something so perfect and beautiful. I knew from the moment I held her in my arms that I would do any and every thing for her. You always hear about a "mother's love". How unconditional and deep it is. You can't possibly know what it's like unless you're a mother. It is the most amazing feeling in the entire world.
Here are a few more snapshots from her first few days of life.
After struggling with a diagnosis of unexplained infertility, many prayers, an ocean's worth of tears, and a lot of heart ache, we FINALLY have our baby. Our precious Sydney Jean. Quez and I are so blessed and love this little stinker more than our own lives. Thank you, God, for this perfect blessing and for trusting us with her.
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